Flower of the Underworld Blog Tour

It's here! The start of the blog tour to celebrate the release of Flower of the Underworld! I hope you all will join in because we've got a lot of cool things planned. 

Every tour stop will bring you a different excerpt so make sure you check them all out. You can also comment on each blog post for extra chances to enter the Rafflecopter giveaway for a signed copy of the book.

Tour Schedule

(Day One-April 23rd)
Introduction at Character Purgatory

Feature and Excerpt at The Page Dreamer
Character Q&A at The Labyrinth 

(Day Two-April 24th)

Feature and Excerpt at Not Unworthy

(Day Three-April 25th)

Feature and Excerpt at The Reading Hedgehog

Review and Excerpt at The Labyrinth 

Live Q&A on my Instagram & Twitter 8PM (EST)

(Day Four-April 26th)

Feature and Excerpt at The Overactive Imagination

I will be hosting a live Q&A on my Instagram account on Thursday night (April 25^th) from 8-9PM EST so get your questions ready! I will also be taking questions from Twitter for those who don’t have an Instagram account during the same time. Feel free to ask questions about Flower of the Underworld, or just writing and books in general, I'm not afraid to go off topic. If you’ll be asking questions on Twitter please make sure to @artfulscribbler with the hashtag #FlowerQ&A.

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Excerpt

Olympus Landscaping was a huge, multi-million dollar business that did jobs all over the country, especially for celebrities and the Hollywood types. And who wouldn’t want their yards done up in such a fantastic way? I might consider it myself if I lived in a clime that could support grass and green things. There were several branches of it open across the country, but this one, near New Olympus, was the one I liked best…for various reasons.

I strolled straight out to the garden, hands in my pockets, enjoying the afternoon sun while I could. I did get tired of the sun easily, but when you hadn’t seen it for weeks on end, even I could be really appreciative of stuff like that.

The garden was so lush and green. Trees gave shade, and flowers spilled out onto the sidewalks in perfectly constructed disarray. The garden culminated into a small courtyard, which was my favorite part, because it had a pond in the middle with a bunch of happy goldfish. I imagined having one of these in the Underworld but figured they would be happier in the sun.

I sat down on the bench near the pond with a contented sigh, and simply closed my eyes and turned my face up toward the sun. Of course, my whole pale body could use some sunlight, but it would look a little strange coming back to the Underworld with a tan. And it wasn’t like I had time to go to the beach either.

I was just enjoying soaking up the sun when I heard a voice.

“Oh, hello. I haven’t seen you around for a while.”

My eyes flew open and saw the girl standing in front of me. She had honey blond hair and green eyes, and a pleasant smile that told of a good nature but also seemed to hold a good sense of humor. She was dressed in a light sundress with green leggings and short fashionable boots with the tops turned down to show her chunky knitted socks. She was also holding a pot of bright pink flowers, completing the breath of fresh air she always was.

Yeah, so I did say that I had other reasons for coming here than to just enjoy the fishpond.

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Follow the rest of the tour for more excerpts!

Purchase Links

Add it on Goodreads

Smashwords
Kindle
Paperback link Coming Soon!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Coming Soon! Flower of the Underworld

So I finally have a new book coming out and this is one that I have been looking forward to writing and sharing for a long time! I've had a Hades and Persephone retelling in my head for a while, and I'm so excited to finally get to share it with all of you! 

Title:Flower of the Underworld

Genre:Urban Fantasy/Mythology Retelling

Synopsis:What happens when the Lord of the Dead accidently falls in love with the Goddess of Spring? 

Well, when there are brothers with crazy political agendas and overprotective mothers involved, a simple romance may not be as simple as it looks. Hades wants nothing more than to woo Persephone, but his fellow Olympians have other ideas. Zeus and Poseidon seem set on starting World War Three, Persephone’s mother wants her daughter to marry Ares, the insufferable God of War to make sure the earth doesn’t get destroyed in the process, and Hades is being pressured by his brothers to join in a fight he never wanted a part of. He’s definitely going to need some help with this one. Calling on his friends Hermes, Artemis, and Apollo, they do the only thing they can: kidnap Persephone themselves and team up to try and stop Zeus before his plans succeed. 

This modern retelling of Hades and Persephone is part romance, part political intrigue and guaranteed to be a version you’ve never heard before.

Add it on Goodreads! 

Join us starting Tuesday the 23rd for the release of Flower of the Underworld and the blog tour. There will be a different excerpt every day, a giveaway, and a live Q&A where I will answer your questions.

Holding Out For a Hero: The Death of Male (and Female) Characters in Popular Media

I recently finished reading Bridge of Clayby Markus Zusak and found myself struck with just how different this book was from so many I have picked up recently. It gave me vibes of something like The Outsidersbecause it’s a story of brothers and in general the struggles boys face growing up. I love Markus Zusak as a writer. The Book Thief is one of my favorite stories ever, and his other trilogy about the Wolfe Brothers that was published in the US as a bind-up called Underdogs was very much in the same vein. He writes brothers and boys so well, and so very accurately both these books gave me all the happy feels.

But what I’m getting at is the difference between this book and the majority of other new YA books I have picked up recently. For starters, it has male protagonists and an overwhelming male cast. Now let me give you an assignment. Go into a bookstore and look at the YA shelves and find me a book with a straight male character as the protagonist. Especially something that has been written in the last three years or so. They are a rare unicorn indeed. And if you do find one, then the male protagonist is never allowed to do anything because his female cohort has to kick all the ass and prove that she’s stronger than him because, oh no, you cannot have a male character stronger than a female one, even though that’s how biology works, it’s considered too sexist to even be mentioned. Check out books like Fawkes if you don’t believe me. But you also just have to look at the last couple seasons of Doctor Who as well to see this. Check out THIS VIDEO to see what I mean. This guy shares literally word for word my opinions and he says it better.

So for some reason everyone, especially women, think that in order to have strong female characters the men have to be oppressed, incompetent and constantly put down by their female compatriots because otherwise how are girls going to feel like they can do anything?

Girls, if you need that much reassurance, then you really are sad.

Bridge of Clay has everything that feminists term “toxic masculinity” but is really the sentiment ‘boys will be boys’—oh but wait, you can’t say that either because apparently in the feminist minds that’s essentially an excuse for men to rape women #modernsociety. The brothers in this book beat each other up and the other city boys, they get into fights, they squabble, but that’s how they show they love each other because this is how men work. And they also respect women, the whole story is in a way, about their love and respect for their mother who was a strong woman and a good role model. It’s biology, it’s not “male entitlement”. There is nothing toxic about masculinity, it’s healthy for boys to be boys, and it’s healthy for girls to embrace their femininity, but no one can do that when women are portrayed in fiction as something they’re not. That’s not a role model, that’s fantasy. A real role model is a woman who stays feminine and can still kick butt. Maybe she’s even a mother and takes down the baddies to save her kids. This is the kind of heroine that I, as a young girl, and now a woman, have always looked up to. One who keeps her self-respect instead of making a fool of herself and jeopardizing her mission by wasting time with stupid rants to reassure herself she’s awesome. A hero. (*cough*CaptainMarvel*cough*)

So while Bridge of Clay and books like it about mostly boys who actually act like real boys are rare, there are books that do everything right to both their male and female characters, and I’ll explain why.

First off, I’m going to talk about one of my favorite series, and one of my favorite heroines: Kara from The Thickety series by J. A. White.

Kara is everything a strong heroine should be. But does this make her a feminist hero? No. Not at all. In fact, it makes her so much better. She is forced into her decisions often by outside forces and boy does she have to make hard decisions and do things that seem impossible. But does she back away? No. Does she do them because “she is a woman and that makes her the only one who can do this”? No. She does them because she has to. Because she wants to protect the people she loves and she has the ability to do so, or she’s the only one who cares enough to try. She never belittles her little brother because he is male, she protects him because she is his big sister and that’s her job. When another male character is introduced later on, she works with him and they make a good team. Respect goes both ways so how can your male partner respect you if all you do is call him out for being stupid just because he’s a man?

This same kind of example is given in J. A. White’s other book Nightbooks. This one has a male protagonist and a girl sidekick. Their partnership is just as healthy as the ones in The Thickety, they work together to save themselves from the bad situation they have gotten in. Of course there’s setbacks and issues, but they don’t arise because of them being male and female and railing on each other, they arise from outside sources, things the protagonists have to overcome. You know, like old stories used to do. Both characters are viewed as intelligent and strong individuals because of what they fight to overcome, not just because of what gender they are.

I also have to make mention of another of my favorite heroines, Karin Murphy from Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files. She’s “small but fierce” as one of the characters described her. She’s both proud of her femininity and willing to kick monster butt. She jokes with Dresden about his “chauvinistic” white knight attitude, but she never bites his head off when he saves her during a fight—they’re comrades in arms. Because of that, she’s also someone Harry can count on, and is often one of the first people he goes to when he needs help. Miss Gard, a Valkyrie character from the series is also a super epic female character I always loved in this series no matter what side she’s on. 1,000 times a better Valkyrie than that poor attempt at one in Thor: Ragnarok which I frankly couldn't tell whether she was a man or a woman because the way she was written they could have cast either.

And before you say “oh but these are male authors, what do they know about women?” well, heh, as a woman, I’m willing to say that male authors are most of the time the only authors who can get female characters right, or at least write them as actually likable. So often men nail the strong heroine because they write her as just that: a strong heroine. Female writers often seem to think strong means the same as ‘strong willed’ with the ‘I don’t need no man’ attitude, when that is exactly the opposite. A quietly strong heroine could easily be the one to save the day, while the loudmouth “feminist icons” are surrounded by ridiculous plots that have to be crafted in such a way so that the heroine’s stupidity doesn’t end up destroying everything. Which is why the characters is these types of stories often fall flat, and the storylines make no sense because there is hardly ever any real character development going on. It’s just a reason for an author to be able to tout their political agendas instead of actually taking the time to make a good story.

On that note, here’s a female author that does a fantastic job of writing male and female characters: Jennifer A. Neilson.

I adore her Ascendance Trilogy and Mark of the Thief Series. Sage is absolutely one of my favorite characters ever, and Imogen is a perfect example of a quietly strong heroine. The same goes for the characters in the Mark of the Thief series. In both of these books the hero is bolstered up by the support that is given from his female companions. And when they need to, these ladies step up to the plate and stand beside their men. Not behind them, and not in front of them either. They are equals. Ironically what feminists pretend to want, but you can’t be equal if you really just want to be better. 

In her book Scourge we saw a very fantastic female protagonist save her people from a plague by going under cover to discover what was really causing it. She has a male character at her side and like in her other books, Jennifer writes them as a team, and cuts out the relationship issues so many of the bloody stupid YA books portray these days because the men aren’t allowed to be men, and the female characters are still so stupid they get into more trouble than they’re worth. How the heck are you supposed to save the world when you can even get past your own personal issues?

So, now I want to move from books and talk about one of my favorite shows— Supernatural. There’s a lot of reasons I love it, mainly because all the main characters are male, and extremely flawed and likable characters, and very well acted and written as well. I think the fact that this show has just been renewed for its 15^thseason is testament to the fact that people enjoy this kind of content, even with the lack of female leads, romantic plotlines, and political agendas. Now yes, the later seasons have their PC moments, but they’re brief and rarely detract from the true storyline, unlike, say, recent seasons of shows like Doctor Who where it has essentially just become a media outlet for the BBC to tout their political agendas instead of being a fun sci-fi show. Even in a recent interview Misha Collins says that the main success of Supernatural is because “it defied convention in that it’s not about romantic relationships. It’s about this brotherhood of men”. It started with two brothers, then added a third with the inclusion of Castiel, and now the three of them are co-parenting an orphan nephillim son and I frankly can’t be happier with the familial aspect. 

But even with this band of brothers, when Supernatural has brought women around, aside from a few instances, they’ve done it right. There have been an array of platonic/sisterly relationships between female characters and the boys, and also motherly ones in characters like Jodi and Ellen. Even when the interests are romantic the women are usually generally supportive of the boys, but we rarely see these kind of relationships crop up anyway.

To prove my point of the difference between this show and, say, (again) recent Doctor Who (and to see my point here you really need to go watch that video I linked above) I’m going to pluck a seemingly random and innocuous scene from Supernatural but one that I feel really proves my point.

In Season 3 Episode 6 “Red Sky At Night” we see a reoccurring guest character Bela Talbot, show up. She’s a thief and an ‘independent woman’ and always does her best to pull one over on the Winchesters whenever she shows up, and usually does—until she is forced to go to them for help because she’s bitten off more than she can chew.

Not only is Bela an independent woman that will ask these brothers for help when she really needs it, even if grudgingly, but whenever she attacks the Winchesters with cheeky comments implying her superiority as a female, they are allowed to attack her in kind. Unlike in Doctor Who where apparently rebuttals from the men about gender superiority is no longer allowed so they’re constantly, laughably put down to the point you can’t even take these poor men seriously as heroes anymore. Granted, this Supernatural episode was from back in ’08 where you could still get away with general entertainment and were not forced to push political agendas, but knowing Eric Kripke I don’t think he would have written these characters any differently, and in fact, Sam and Dean, though obviously they have gone through the character arcs you would expect out of a long running series and have indeed grown up over the course of the show’s run, are still themselves, despite writer changes. Partly thanks to Jared and Jensen’s genuine care about the characters and also the fact that the producers still also care deeply about the show and have been there since the beginning. 

But I want to bring attention to one scene in particular that has always struck me for some reason. 

During the course of the episode they have to retrieve an item from a museum and to do so they have to infiltrate a gala. Dean dresses in a tux and when Bela sees him, she’s obviously pretty hot under the collar, and propositions him for “angry sex” later. Dean, taking offense, tells her “Don’t objectify me”. (Watch the scene HERE) 

Ladies and gentlemen, in that moment, Dean, a well known ladies man, showed he had more self-respect than 80% of these so-called strong, independent YA heroines. And he also handled the situation better than any of them when they are propositioned by the “misogynistic” male character where the heroine flies off the handle at them for even thinking of them like that. Supernatural is actually very “progressive” about this topic if you’ll forgive the word, because, having male leads and a lot of female monster baddies, situations like this do crop up. Vampires and demons forcing kisses, unwanted groping and such: the kind of situations a lot of people only seem to think female characters get themselves into, but no, this just isn’t true. Women can be just as nasty and objectify men just as well as men can women. There is such a thing as mansels in distress. And whether it’s their brother, guardian angel, or female hunt buddy coming to their rescue, the Winchesters are never emasculated by this because they’re allowed to actually BE masculine in the first place. If you’re fighting creatures with supernatural strength sometimes you will be beaten up by a girl.

All I ask is for authors to write real men characters as well as real women characters. Instead of simply writing crappy fiction that doesn’t please anyone, has flat characters and no plotlines past the political agendas that are only there because the author wants it to be. You can’t make characters be themselves if you put words in their mouths which is why so few books have characters that feel real anymore and why the last couple Doctors have lost viewership to a well-loved sci-fi show. A greater example of this cannot be given than the Disney Star Wars franchise.

So will we ever see another book like Bridge of Clay published? Frankly, and sadly, I find it unlikely. What will we do when Supernatural finally ends? Because it’s honestly the only show of its kind on television right now, and I doubt there will be others made despite its success. 

The pure and simple fact is, you can’t please everyone, so just please stop trying. At the very least you might get a good story out of it.

Five Actors Who Would Have Made Better Doctors than 13

Exactly what the title says. Five actors who would have been a better choice than turning the Doctor into a woman. I think ratings can attest to how well that went over.

1. Eddie Redmayne 

This boy would be perfect in the role of a Doctor, he can act all the wacky stuff, wear period clothing and he can totally rock the hair. Not only that but he's pretty cute too.

2. Steve Coogan

He's funny, he looks good in multiple time periods, and has that charming eccentricity of a traditional Doctor. Plus he's a very well known British actor who hasn't done much British stuff so let's give him a quintessential British role.

3. Bertie Carvel

He can play a crazy eccentric magician in Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell which is perfect to go on your resume when playing the Doctor. Plus, also the crazy hair.











And because at this point, they may as well make him an American, here are a couple American actors who would make fantastic Doctors.

4. Matthew Grey Gubler

Not only does he play a geeky super genius/cinnamon roll on TV he pretty much is one in real life. And would probably make a better Doctor than quite a few Brits (sacrilege!)

5. Misha Collins

We don't want him to be pulled away from Supernatural  yet but if Doctor Who is still running after SPN finishes then we know someone who looks great in a trench coat and tie.

Bonus:

We really just should have David Tennent Back but as a ginger this time...

My Review for "Ship It" by Britta Lundin (and all that entails) Part 2

Please refer to Part One Before reading this. And also...spoilers

"Fans feel silenced" You are the audience. As much as you want to think you have a say in the matter. You really don't.  (+10)

Go Forest. 

This was the only redeeming scene in the whole book. Forest has every right to be mad. He was trying to get a role in another movie, and at this point, if he quit the show it would just serve the "fans" right because they don't deserve him. And he is genuinely correct about what the fans think. I have seen so much hate for the writers and certain actors (ahem Jensen) from so-called Supernatural "fans" because they don't agree with their ship. And that is all they care about. (Side rant) like those fans who only start watching SPN at Season 4 and don't watch episodes that Cas isn't in. Like, I love Cas as a character, I love Misha, but these fans ONLY watch the show to prove their ship to the rest of us when they still have no grounds to stand on. And how can you really call yourself a fan if you didn't watch the early seasons with the boys growing up? With Dean's sacrifice for Sam and everything that entailed, the things that shaped who they became? Because they don't care about that, they don't care about the show and they don't really care about the characters, they just want to see their ship come to fruition when it NEVER will.

So, I whole-heartedly agree, Forest: @#%& Claire and the "fans" (-10)

And here is where another PR person literally helps Claire plot to hold Jamie hostage and blackmail him. My poor Jamie needs to get better freaking help and vet these people to make sure they aren't diehard shippers of this crap. (+100)

So she literally asks her mom and other adults to help her find a room to "Lure" the show runner into. And they help her. I wonder what would have happened if she'd asked them to help her kill him too? And you wonder why this book make me want to blow my brains out? (+200)

This is a selection from one of Claire's fanfics. Yep, she's writing RPF now because she's got it into her head to be so delusional that she thinks Forest's hatred for the SmokeHeart ship is because of his personal suppressed feelings for his co-star and she wants to write a story about that. (+100)

Bonus sins added because in this fanfic she steals a prank that Ruth Connell pulled on Mark Sheppard when she covered his trailer in pictures of Misha. This author obviously doesn't use anything original. (+10)

So this is during the discussion that happens when Claire holds Jamie hostage, and once, again, boy do I feel sorry for poor Jamie. Not only did he not get the actor he wanted to play one of the characters but he tells a very true story of what it's like so often writing for a network or publisher and trying to make a show (or book) fit their perimeters. 

This is another truism to how these fans think. This is how villains taunt people. Get a life, Claire. And Jamie's right, it's a joke. I'm sorry you don't think it's funny. (+50)

I think this whole passage speaks for itself. Again, poor Jamie. Bless this man who just wants to write a freaking story in a world where everyone forces you to use agendas to make potentially good fiction crappy. Just this line "I didn't know I was upholding the patriarchy. I thought I was telling monster stories for an hour a week." This almost makes me want to freaking cry at how real this is and how much I feel for Jamie here. This is just the kind of hate people get for writing Just Stories anymore. Oh no, it's not allowed to have Just a Story. It has to have just the right amount of diversity and by the "right amount" I mean, it must overcome the story itself to push agendas and therefor make it a campaign instead of a story. Anyone who writes a Story anymore is instantly penalized and called a racist and a bigot. 

+100 sins for Claire bringing up this subject. 

Okay, so this is after they watched the finale live at the last con and it's revealed that Smoky (Forest's Character) dies at the end. And I think it was also announced that there wasn't going to be a pick up for the next season because, go figure. And I love how she automatically thinks that Rico ships it just because he applies a little more tact to his answers than anyone else. Another thing, fans, just because actors don't actually come out and protest something, doesn't automatically mean that they ship it. And even if they don't necessarily mind that people ship something doesn't mean they play it that way on screen (+20)

Another +10 sins for Discount Misha knitting like real Misha.

+1,000 sins for having the gall to actually reference Supernatural in this book.

And once again, Claire is asked to moderate a panel after the complete crapfest she made of the last one. Again, she's thinking of blackmailing Jamie and putting him on the spot in front of the fans. Shockingly she decides not to do this. (+10)

"Look at the show, how white it is, how male." KILL ME NOW 

THIS WHOLE SCENE just makes me want to bash my head in. +1,000 sins

I don't even want to talk about what ensues at the end of this panel. Number one, this would NEVER happen and if it did it would never be serious. It was so obviously supposed to be to placate the readers' little disgusting fantasies but it made NO FREAKING SENSE to the story and was SO out of character for these guys, especially Forest. He and Rico did not have to freaking kiss on stage in cosplays of their characters for these ungrateful disgusting fans. (+10,000)

CANON cannot be wrong. Canon is always canon. Fanon is what it's called when the fans make it up.  (+1,000) And an extra +10 sins because this forced me to deface a library book.

"Gotta eat your broccoli before you can have dessert."

You have no idea how many times I have seen this sentiment. I agree that fix-it fanfics are great, there's nothing wrong with fixing the trauma, but there are fans who expressly hate everything about a show and only read fan fiction. Why are you even in this fandom anymore????? +1,000 sins for my personal angst.

And that's it for the selections.

Total Sin Count: 15,185

Sentence: Salt and Burn

So, I’m going to leave you to make your own conclusion about this book but here’s a few interesting tidbits you may want to noodle on. And honestly, I’m not coming out and saying anything here, coincidences dohappen on occasion, but there was too much coincidence in the whole situation of this book to pass over completely.

-The author, Britta Lundin is apparently a writer for the show Riverdale. Riverdaleis a show owned by the CW.

-Supernatural is also owned by the CW and also Warner Bros.

-We all know Disney is trying to buy up other film companies. Guess who published this book? Freeform. Which is a publishing company owned by, yep. Disney. It kind of makes you wonder: blatantly obvious bashing of a certain fandom owed by a certain company, who on earth would publish this? Oh, the Fourth Reich—I mean, (you know what I mean)

-We also know that CW with all its DC Comics based shows is heavily in with Warner Bros. While it’s ABC that has affiliations with Disney, which they don’t let anyone forget. ABC also owns the Freeform TV channel which is all part of the same thing.

This also leads to the question as to why this particular author chose to write a book essentially bashing people in the same profession she’s in?

Kind of makes me wonder how this woman still has a job with the CW…

So, do with that what you will, my friends. 

And just to be fair, I picked a couple other reviews off of Goodreads to show you that even people who ship this stuff don’t like this story. When my enemy becomes my ally, you know it’s bad.

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2320776737

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2386743230

Also, for a very in-depth discussion about this book with less ranting, check out this video from Alana King on Youtube 

My Review for "Ship It" by Britta Lundin (and all that entails) PART 1

My Review of Ship It 

or

Why I’m officially done with Publishing Companies

This is the story of how it’s apparently okay to attack a specific fandom and person (in not a very veiled way) in a published novel in the glorious age we live in.

Let me preface this by saying that I have nothing against books about fans. While I may not like the type of book Rainbow Rowell writes and Fangirljust isn’t my cup of tea, I am happy that there are books out there that portray fans as not insane psychos because 98% of us really aren’t. Even the majority of fans who ship ships I personally don’t agree with aren’t insane, petty stalkers.

In 2017 two amazing books about fans came out. One of which was Geekerellaby Ashley Posten, which was almost a love letter to fans everywhere. It captured the “True Fan” the ones who love their fandoms despite its possible faults, who cosplay and go to conventions and are supportive of other people in their fandom because you’re supposed to be on the same team. Plus the romance between the heroine and the star of the movie adaption of her favorite show was actually really adorable and actually pretty realistic. I mean, it *could* happen within the bounds of reality. Unlike the situations in Ship It. But we’ll get to that later.

There was also Eliza and her Monsterswhich features the introverted creator of a popular web comic meeting a fan “in the wild” who shares with her that he writes fan-fiction of her comic (fan-fiction that is actually good!) and this book kind of shows both the side of the fandom and the side of the creator; something that, as both a fan and a writer myself, I particularly appreciated.

Both of these books were well written, had likable characters who the reader could relate to, and, especially in the case of Geekerella, illustratedthe best, and really, the most normally seen side of Fandom as a whole. I am one of those fans who gets excited to talk about stuff with other people in my fandoms. I chat online with friends, I cosplay and go to cons and do photo ops and autographs with authors and actors I love. I saved extra money for weeks to get photo ops with Jensen, Jared and Misha, I stood in line for three hours to get Elijah Wood’s autograph—I’m a fan, I get it.

But this is not the kind of fans that Ship It is portraying. In fact if anyone read this book and had little to no idea of what fandoms were typically like, they would probably never want to join one at all because this portrays everyone as whiny, petty, a-holes. 

A little crash course in fan-fiction for people who don’t know:

So, fan-fiction can be divided into several basic categories.

First off you have Canon and Gen Canon is based off the book/show/movie directly, either deleted scenes, and such that would be found in the normal universe of the original work. It only has canon ships (or maybe an original character, here and there, if it works). Gen is pretty much the same but essentially has no ships at all or can also cover AUs (alternate universes) or other things that may not happen in canon, but are generally not offensive to anyone.

Then you move into Slash. Slash is fan-fics where characters of the same gender are paired. These are not canon pairings, or at least the term never seems to be used to refer to canon pairings.

Then even further into that you go to RPF or ‘real person fiction’. RPF is essentially fan-fics about actors, singers or other celebrities. Some fan-fiction sites don’t even allow RPF to be posted. Now, I’m not saying all RPF is like this, I’m sure at least some of it is actually Gen, I don’t look for it because it’s not my cup of tea. But the majority of it takes actors who are in real life happily married to their wives and have children and everything, and the writers pretend they are in love, instead, with their co-stars, sometimes even behind their wives backs if their actual wives exist at all in these fics. This to me is just disrespectful. Fictional characters are one thing, but when you make up stuff about real people, it’s just disgusting to me.

And we all thought Mary-Sues were bad. And speaking of Mary-Sues Claire in this book was a serious Mary-Sue alert.

Look, so yes, I don’t like it when shippers pop out of the woodwork and ruin things for me with their fanart of my favorite boys snogging. But as long as they don’t get in my face, they’re not my problem. They can stay on their side of the internet, I’ll stay on mine. I’m willing to ignore them. The problem is they don’t always do that and there are fans who are ADAMANT that ships are canon even though writers, authors, and even actors have denied that they are canon. This is approaching the disrespectful level and what you don’t realize is that you make all of us fans look bad for doing this. Some actors *are* jerks, but the ones who aren’t, like the cast of Supernatural and Merlin and a lot of the cast of Avengers and all that are super nice people and they don’t deserve the heckling some fans resort to. And not only in the shipping quarter (I could bring up a certain panel with Seb Stan, Tom Holland, and Anthony Mackie as an example of this) (Also, as an aside, this is a textbook reason of why you have question moderators at panels, which this book sneers at, and also a textbook example of HOW NOT TO MODERATE A PANEL when the guest actor has to be the one to move it along instead of whoever is modding.)

And then you have the fans like Claire in Ship Itwho take it even farther and literally demand (in this book, while holding the showrunner freaking hostage with promise of blackmail) that the writers and producers/authors change the story to fit theirimage of it. Like literally, I have seen petitions and campaigns to make ships go canon. What the actual heck, people? Ever think that maybe you should turn that passion into actually helping people?

Ladies (and maybe a few gents) do you remember how everyone hated the Star Wars prequels so much they said George Lucas (who legit came up with the story, so I find their arguments invalid—like, don’t like it, don’t watch) did a terrible job with his own movies? And then he sold the rights to Disney and, welp, you guys got your wish, and look at the absolute tripefest that ensued. (Besides Rogue Onethat was beautiful and canon and like a WWII spy story in space—see, we all have our opinions.) This is what happens when you ask people to go off canon. We could have had cool villains, Luke Skywalker with a kick-butt bounty hunter wife and Jacen and Jaina Solo, and would have been spared the emo little boy pain of Kylo Ren, but nooooo. 

But I digress…

So a little backstory on Where This Book Got Its Storyline From:

It’s no secret Jensen Ackles who plays Dean Winchester on Supernatural is no fan of the Dean/Cas ship. So when questions were asked about it, he responded like a normal human, and not even meanly, but he was obviously annoyed and done with the question and no one can blame him for sounding a bit grumpy about it. Well, some people took offence to that, probably tears were shed, and obviously it made it onto the internet.

(I couldn’t find the original video, but here is another one where essentially the same thing happens)

I don’t know why this author decided it was her personal crusade to accuse Jensen, not to his face, but in this really backhanded and frankly disgusting way, but it’s pretty obvious that that’s literally what this book is. I mean, come on “Demon Heart”? A show about a demon hunter and a freaking conflicted demon ally with—get this—a distinctive coat and husky voice? Sure they cut out the brother thing, but just wait until you read the lovely selections I have for you from this book and you’ll see just how many parallels it had with Supernatural. (And on the note of actors hating ships, I’m going to mention in passing Bradley James’ obvious hatred for the Merlin/Arthur ship. You go, Bradley.)

So a little about Claire, the main character is not a good person. She is rude to her mother all the time for no reason, especially since her mom supports her passions and even drives her to the first convention and then proceeds to leave her home and job for weeks to travel with Claire on the con circuit. And she’s also pretty terrible to her friend, and pretty much blackmails her in front of her other friends. So Claire, not a likable person, but what else were we to expect when this was the kind of fan this author was trying to portray.

So, let’s jump into the fray finally. I realized while reading this book that the best way to condemn it was to let it speak for itself, and, frankly, I couldn’t even come up with this crap if I tried.

(Warning: there may be some sensitivities hurt by reading these things, and also some unkind language from me. However, I did you the courtesy of blanking out the cussing in the text so there’s that)

Let’s start off this section with the definition of “Delusional”-- “Characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, typically as a symptom of mental disorder.” Keep that in mind while you read these selections.

(I'm also going to do a Cinema Sins style rating on this one so every + you see if the counter of sins this book gains)

Also, if it wasn't already obvious...spoiler warning 

So, let's just take a moment to appreciate that we're first introduced to our heroine literally googling gay porn in her school library to "see how it works" for her fanfic. Do I need to say more? If the author was trying to go for something funny here, it missed the mark by approximately a universe (+100)

I'm adding sins here because this is SO BLATANTLY stolen from the SPN family. Fans call Misha Collins 'Dad' on Twitter too (+10)

Again, sins added here for the similarity to Supernatural. Rico, (or Discount Misha, as I like to call him) plays the demon character and has an 'unnaturally gravelly voice' in character. >_> (+10)

Bless Claire's mom here for asking if the characters are actually bisexual. This whole conversation is one I have seen on Tumblr so many times. Let me just say this. If the writers wanted you to know something about a character on a show after 14 seasons, they are going to let you know. If it hasn't been said by then, then it's not true and you're delusional. (+20)

Again, a perfect example of how these types of fans perceive things. Sure, the character might have just been possessed and beaten his best friend into the ground, or maybe this is pre-friendship and they kinda hate each other so they're doing an alpha male thing. Does this make any sense to them? No, all they see is sexual tension. (+50)

Ah yes, the female characters getting killed off--another huge contention in the Supernatural fandom. While I agree some of them were totally killed off too quickly, others (the ones people actually get angry about like Charlie) actually *did* serve a purpose to the storyline by dying. It's not because they were female, it's because they furthered important plot points. (+5)

Girl, just because it wasn't your interpretation of the scene doesn't mean you are the only one who is right. You didn't write or act the bloody thing, you do not have the monopoly on deciding what it meant. (+10)

See comment above, but I'm still adding an additional 10 sins (+10)

Despite all the work this author did to demonize the creator/showrunner Jamie, he's actually one of the few characters I sympathized with in this book. And I seriously hope she didn't think she was basing him off Eric Kripke because I have never seen Kripke act like she tries to portray this poor guy at a panel or in an interview. None of the SPN writers do.

Okay, number one, there's no way the whole audience would be with her. Whenever anyone mentions slash at a con, there is always a collective groan from at least some audience members. And frankly, I refuse to call Forest the jerk here, seeing as the questions should have been vetted and actors are human too. You can't expect them to be happy with every question a fan asks. (+10)

Again with the delusions. Also, this is after Claire oh-so-gracefully runs off to her room crying because no one agreed with her theory. Insert joking truism about millennials and participation trophies (+10)

And here's why I feel sorry for Jamie. He's such a victim of the network that he can't even write his own bloody show without being demonized by not only his fans but his PR woman -- who he totally should have fired for everything she does later. I don't know a lot about that side of the business, but I do know that you shouldn't berate your clients this much and them proceed to essentially blackmail them later by siding with the fans. 

In this scene, even Claire's friend, who is another die hard shipper admits that they don't need it on the show if they have their fanfics. This is one of the many scenes where I actually had to wonder whether we were actually supposed to like Claire or not? (+10)

I love how she demonizes panel moderation and question vetting here. Because seriously, if they *didn't* do this at conventions (well, see the Avengers panel in the link I mentioned earlier) and you'd have so many uncomfortable questions. Some questions still slip through, yeah, but that's on the fans for saying something else to the mods before they actually ask the question. Some actors just don't want to answer questions about certain topics. And if they know it's something that's going to piss them off, then why would the fans want to do that to someone they *supposedly* respect? Oh yeah, because respect goes both ways.

Also, let me take a moment to catch you up on a little of the story here. Because Claire's feelings were kind of upset by Forest, the absolutely brilliant PR lady came up with the plan to invite her as a special guest to the rest of the convention circuit. Traveling WITH THE ACTORS and UNSUPERVISED on, get this, a tour bus, of all things. As if the situation wasn't ridiculous enough already the image of show and movie casts, especially big ones like the cast for Avengers traveling from con to con on a tour bus like some 90s pop band is freaking hilarious. Unfortunately, it also traps the actors with this chick who is obviously off her rocker, and ends up being where she somehow gains Forest's trust enough for him to tell her things he never should have because it's going to come back to bite him later when she blows stuff out of proportion and writes fake truths about him in RPF fanfics. And then PR lady proceeds to let her live tweet or whatever the panel and essentially trash talk everyone and yet this person who is supposed to be making sure the show stays in a good light so they can make another season, is totally okay with this? What the actual heck? As if the blatant attacks this books makes weren't bad enough the story itself has the sense of something written by a wishful tween.

All of this gets +100 sins

Poor, poor Forest. Apparently he's not allowed to say anything to this girl (+10 for toxic feminism)

This is so true here. Forest perceives the scene like a normal actor--he was cold. Which means he was obviously not thinking of any relationship between his character and the other one while shooting the scene, he was probably trying not to shiver. This just goes to show that these fans can't actually pull a scene up and prove anything with it. I love how everything this book does get right is just twisted to make actors and show writers look like idiots and uncaring jerks. And by the way, Claire, who the devil cares if you disagree? (+10)

Wow, Claire, how do YOU think it feels? HMMM????? You bloody hypocrite (+50)

And despite the fact that Claire has already probably completely ruined the chance for this show to get picked up for another season because of the bad press she alone has created, they are letting her actually physically moderate a panel. That means, having free rein to ask the actors anything she wants without being vetted because the mod is only supposed to go off a certain list, and then letting any fans ask any questions they want. (+50)

And then before the panel starts she sends out a message online to everyone there not to ask a question in protest. And EVERYONE somehow goes along with this. I don't care who you are, there is no fandom in this universe that would agree fully on one thing like this. There would be people against this shipping who would just say 'screw you' and stand up to make the actors feel less uncomfortable because they are GOOD DECENT people. And yes, Jamie here has every right to be done with the BS. If I were him, I'd never do another convention again. (+100)

And now, please see Part 2 of this review, because it's so long I decided to split it up into two sections.