Friday, January 20, 2012

And After Long Last, I Present....The Pitch!!

Okay, well, I only started working on it this week, but, well, that's just the way I am. But tonight after many glasses of coke and even more editing, much thanks to my mum ;-) I have finally gotten my pitch ready to enter into the ABNA contest this coming monday! Can you believe they only wanted 300 words or less??? I could have sworn the first year I entered it was 500. They just love to make it hard on us. Here it is for you all to read:


Kilroy Allen has been searching fifteen years for the man who sent his father to the scaffold. Executed under false pretenses of treachery against his king, Charles I, Kilroy’s father was betrayed by a man whose face he never saw. Now with the same man after him, Kilroy has no choice but to take on a false identity and lure this unknown man out of hiding so he can exact justice for his father’s murder all those years ago. Now he’s become the infamous highwayman, Emerald Sword, by night and the not so infamous merchant, Jeremy Glennon, by day. But no plan is without its complications. If Kilroy cannot catch the man soon, it could mean his true love, the formidable, yet beautiful, Sylvia Davies, may be forced to marry an insufferable dandy she has no feelings for.
            With time running out, Kilroy seeks the sort of help that only his fellow highwaymen can give: Jeffcoat Mullins, his faithful partner in crime, Roster Scarcliff, a dashing rival he has dueled with for years, the famous Thomas Blood and Claude Du Val, and lastly, the Scarlet Blade, who is none other than Sylvia herself. With his band of comrades,* he sets out to honor the vow he made to his father as a boy—find the man who betrayed him and clear his family name once more.
            With adventure, romance, humor, sword fighting, wrestling, treachery, and a cast of memorable characters, Ballad of the Highwayman, in the tradition of Alexandre Dumas and Rafael Sabatini, is a revival of the classic swashbuckler that is sadly hard to find in today’s “all the rage” paranormal novels. I wrote Kilroy’s story because I think it’s just what the world never knew they were missing but desperately needs.

* This is where my good pen gave out on the editing and I had to resort in the scratchy one.

Okay, and now, after all that work, I even decided to give you a little entertainment. The pitch below is what I would have liked to have written and sent in ;). It's all in good fun mind, so ignore the terrible grammar and run-ons. I wrote this really late at night too, on too much caffeine, so it is a little whacky. This is definitely my writing and my humor at it's worst, so beware! But do enjoy it too, of course =P

Once upon a time, when evil Ollie Cromwell ruled England, there was a boy named Kilroy Allen. Kilroy’s father, unfortunately got falsely accused of treason against Charles I--even though he had already gotten his head cut off by then-- by this guy no one knows, and was executed, but not before he told his ten-year-old son to find the man who did it and kill him someday. People were a lot more mature back then.
So Kilroy--grown up now, of course--decides he can’t just go run around as himself because the unknown guy is still after him, so he makes this plan to become a merchant named Jeremy Glennon during the day, and a highwayman at night called, the much more epic, Emerald Sword. But of course there always have to be complications! His true love, Sylvia Davies who he promised her father he would protect after he too got betrayed by the unknown guy and executed--Kilroy needs to stop making promises--is of course supposed to marry someone else. That would be that annoying dandy, Giles Claybrook, who, in actuality, Sylvia is only getting close to because Kilroy thinks that Giles’ father had something to do with the unknown guy. Thus, you understand the complications.
So time’s running out, and Kilroy doesn’t know who to turn to except...wait! Those other highwaymen around! So he searches the world over for the perfect band of comrades to help him on his mission--that’s a lie. He just found them at the pub and most volunteered by themselves.--Jeffcoat Mullins, his sidekick--because every hero has one. His more dashing rival, Roster Scarcliff who he has used as dueling practice for years, and the two real highwaymen, Thomas Blood and Claude Du Val. And, of course Sylvia wasn’t going to stay out of this, so she makes some manly duds and becomes a highwayman herself called the Scarlet Blade, which she so did not really fashion after Kilroy’s highwayman persona.
This book has all kinds of stuff, fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, true love...wait, sorry, I stole that from another famous swashbuckler*, oops. ;) But despite that, it’s also a lot like Alexandre Dumas and Rafael Sabatini and it’s way better than those vampire/wearwolf books out there so you should read this instead because it’s way better. And because Hazel can’t even spell “werwolf” because you don’t wear one apparently. Anyway, the world needs Kilroy and Sylvia. The End.

*Of course this belongs to William Goldman who wrote that lovely story The Princess Bride. Give credit where credit is due! I never steal from a fellow author. ;-)


So good night everyone! I hope to be back with more posts soon!

Slainte, Hazel

6 comments:

  1. I'm posting my critique of the query for "Ballad of the Highwayman" on my wordpress blog because blogger lacks formatting. The story looks like it has a fun premise, a classic historical adventure in the style of the Three Musketeers and Scaramouche.

    http://www.datarave.net/zfh/2012/01/22/query-critique-hazel-b-west-ballad-of-the-highwayman/

    I saw you're already self-published, so best of luck with the ABNA contest! (PS, the book summary on Amazon is pretty good.)

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  2. Thanks, John! I'll take a look at it. Thank you for stopping by!

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  3. To answer your questions over at my blog:

    I'm not in the publishing industry, nor do I earn anything for doing critiques. I write. My day job is technical (where my writing is mostly emails and documentation), but I enjoy story writing for the creative outlet. My reasons for critiquing is to improve my own work. It's sometimes difficult to put distance between me and my own work, but I find it easier to get that necessary distance after I've critiqued someone else's work. Also, critiquing someone else's work also helps teach me what I like in a story. Thinking analytically about the stories I enjoy reading helps me figure out what kind of stories I want to write.

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  4. PS, I'll check out the Christmas story and the novel excerpt sometime this week. Thanks for stopping by my website also!

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  5. I think most writers do the same thing. I know when I first really started writing, I saw books differently when I read them, and I began to think about why I liked the book and what made it so good whether characters, writing style or whatever. I also appriciate the fact that it's easier to critique someone else's work than your own. That's why I believe that no author should really write alone.

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  6. "That's why I believe that no author should really write alone."

    Couldn't agree more. =)

    Anyway, good luck with your ABNA entry.

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